Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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