amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
