margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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