OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
