So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
