You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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