So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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