I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize