I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
ttyl tear gas
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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