I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
