So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
