I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
