i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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