dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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