My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
