I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
