508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
