Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
