your parents love me but you hate me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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