dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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