it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
