Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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