I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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