Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
