Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
