i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
