My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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