He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize