just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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