it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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