ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
