My girlfriend figured out who you are.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
50% drunk capacity currently
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Randomize
