Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wear drunk well.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
