Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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