I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
