After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
