I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
