Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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