they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
