I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
