we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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