Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Floor bacon is actually really good
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
