You work out of a Hotel?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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