wake up i wanna do it froggy style
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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