Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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