She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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