NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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