i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Holy shit dude........stairs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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