Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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