so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
