That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
