so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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