remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
