Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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