is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
