my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
