If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
