I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
