Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
