I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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