I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
