But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
