the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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