I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
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Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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