Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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