Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
