So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
